The De-Vealing Process Begins

Holy fuck, I have to prepare for a half-marathon.

That’s the most disturbing of the thinks that I’ve thought since returning home from the Christmas holiday. I’m thrilled to be returning to something resembling normal life, but there’s also some terror as I realize that, if one of my goals for the year is to do a Spartan Beast, there’s a whole lot of doing that that entails.

The running, as I’ve noted, is the most intimidating bit of that. A Beast is 12+miles—essentially a half marathon. Now, I know that’s not actually going to be impossible—I worked my way up to a 10K in one training run this year—but it is also a bit mind-flobbling. When I started running last year, my goal was nothing more than a 5K—just enough to survive the shorter OCRs. I was even hostile to the idea of running lengthier distances.

The idea of a lengthy run is particularly bad right now, feeling as bloated and enormous as I currently do. Visiting my parents is an experience that is just a hair’s breadth short of force-feeding: There’s no feeding tube, but my mother’s pestering and emotional blackmail makes it very difficult to not eat literally every second while you’re there. Like, she’ll call out to you when you’re sitting on the toilet to make sure that you don’t need a few cookies to help you push. Someday, when I’m feeling far too sane, I’ll try to figure out the logic behind her reasoning. There’s no way it’s normal. I feel like veal, and that isn’t the way things should be.

Fortunately, I don’t yet need to worry about running yet—my plan is to start running training in earnest in March or so, as weather permits.

Up ’til then, it’s time to rebuild my fitness level. Although really, that’s being overly dramatic. Even though I feel kind of lousy, I’m pretty sure things aren’t really that bad. In fact, my first true workout since the trip (yesterday) went nearly well. It was an hour-long class, and I felt okay through about 45 minutes of it. (I was fully expecting to be spewing by the end of warm-ups.) It’s kind of an indicator that I tend to think things are a fair bit worse than they usually are.

I’ll be finalizing both some goals for the year and some monthly goals in the near future, but I know one of my January goals already. It will be pull-ups: I became able to do pull-ups for the first time early this year, and by the end of January I’m going to do five consecutive. I worked my way up to three this year, and yesterday I was able to match it. Hopefully with some regular training and a bit of weight down, five will be feasible.


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Filed under Funny, Obstacle Course Racing, Training

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