Here I announced my goals for January, and prepare to shadenfreude yourself, because I made none of them.
(I’ve never felt so Jan-like.)
Things went bad in the middle of the month, and so my goals went thusly:
5 pull-ups: Started at 3 and stayed at 3.
255 pounds: Started at 263 and went up to 265.
Fewer than 20 meals out: I surpassed that with a couple days to go and stopped counting.
12 job applications: I did 6 (or 7, depending on how you count them).
What to take from this month?
First and most important is to figure out a way to deal with the lower ebb of my mood/energy/attitude cycles, which hit fairly midway through the month and hasn’t left. Unfortunately, if I knew how to do that, I’d have done it by now. I know for a fact that I need more life that isn’t in front of my computer (and that’s not just because I’m doing a freelance gig this weekend that’s keeping me fairly tethered to the thing). That’s tricky because it’s winter and I’m not close to much, but there’s at least a prospect that will hopefully pay off next weekend. (Teaser!)
Beyond that, I’m going to try to think much smaller: Instead of trying to solve the whole situation related to my job and boredom and future prospects and general frustration and getting nowehere, I’m going to try to focus on single steps—as in, do this one useful thing for an hour, and then do this one useful thing for an hour, and so on.
I should have known better than to set the eating out goal—not because I should do much less of it, but because I know that that kind of “don’t do” goals don’t work well for me. I’ve got a better (hopefully) plan for next month.
The job-application goal may be a reflection of typical January slowdowns in job availability or it may mean that I need to reevaluate my job sources. On the up side, they all seem to be good prospects—jobs that I’d do well and would probably enjoy. No evidence supports the idea that those facts will lead to me getting them, of course…
My goals for February:
Weight: 255 pounds. Yep, let’s try this one again.
Push-ups: I’d like to be able to do 50 consecutive. This morning I tried and did 21, although I suspect that will rise quickly in the next few tests as I become accustomed to the idea. I’ve been up to 35 in the past.
Try 4 new meal recipes: Instead of a don’t-do goal, which punishes me every time I accomplish it, let’s try a positive one instead: eating better by cooking from scratch, which will hopefully have the side effect of making the food-ingestion process a bit more interesting rather than something I do mindlessly as a response to being bored or frustrated or angry.
12 job applications: I don’t see any way around this one, apart from actually getting a job.
A slightly positive ending
I didn’t actually fail all of my goals last month. There were a few I didn’t share here, because the details are needlessly personal, related to finances and similar things. They, at least, surpassed the month’s goals, owing in part to the fact that I finally got paychecks from four months’ worth of freelance work. So, yay!