Marketing Mockery: Twitter Superlative Edition

Today’s Marketing Mockery comes not from individual tweets, but from Twitter pages. Such as:

WreckBag is a revolutionary fitness product designed to be as tough as its users.Revolutionary? Really? I mean, it’s a sand bag. It may well be an extremely good sand bag (I seem to have seen some nice comments about it through the ether, although I haven’t used one in person), but at heart it’s a bag with some weight in it. For it to be truly revolutionary, I would set the bar around “invented gravity.”

SportSafe BodyMarker: Identify, Express & Inspire with No-Tox, Water-Proof, Body Markers for Swim Meets, Tri's, Obstacle Races, Roller DerbyAgain, quite possibly a fine product. The word “inspire” here is what gets me. I’m rarely inspired by what a competitor writes on his or her body, particularly when what he or she writes is “Eat My Bubbles.” I really hope that’s not a new fetish I need to keep up with.

Marathon to Mud Run. Changing the way athletes secure their bibs!Again, really? Potentially a good product, but I don’t feel like my bib has been secured any differently. (It also loses points for making it hard to figure out what exactly they’re selling—it turns out it’s clothes with a pocket for the number to go into, but I feel like I met them more than halfway to figure that out.)

Plus, a bonus:

What is your favorite race? With answer: I like blacks.Yeah, they probably could have predicted where that was going. Although, perhaps to Spartan’s credit, it seems like minor Twitter kerfuffles aren’t really the type of thing that bother them, and to their fans’ credit, the question hasn’t turned into an internet cesspool of internettyness. I’m a bit surprised nobody has said something like “BattleFrog.” My response (the 400 I.M.) was probably the closest, and that was a lie—the 400 I.M. is an evil swimming race devised by evil people for evil.

Previous Marketing Mockeries:
Welcome to the Dungeon
Passive Aggressive edition
Let’s Math
The First One



Filed under Funny, Spartan Race, Sunday Mockery

2 responses to “Marketing Mockery: Twitter Superlative Edition

  1. Pingback: Marketing Mockery: Nothing to Do With Taxes Edition | Fat Boy Big Wall

  2. Pingback: Marketing Mockery: Holy Crap, Deadlines! Version | Fat Boy Big Wall

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