I’m confused by today.
It started before I got out of bed. I normally don’t remember dreams—I can count the number of times in my life that I have on two hands, and probably one. But today, I remembered two.
They’re both maybe sort of a little bit rational. The first was about how absolutely critical it was for me to include biodiesel grown in Iowa in a presentation I was making. That could be related to my job, if you view it through the gauzy filter that covers all of Dreamland, so it’s probably just an anxiety thing.
The second dream was my first-ever obstacle course racing-related dream. I was in the starting corral, and there was a racer in a wheelchair, and weirdly*, I went up and talked to him and immediately joined his team. The whole thing didn’t last long, though. We did the first obstacle, some kind of water obstacle where you had to go underwater to pass underneath some bars. When I had completed it, the guy was gone. I even hung around to make sure that I hadn’t inadvertently gotten ahead of him, but no. He’d left.
I really hope that the point of that dream isn’t that people in wheelchairs are dicks. That would be a pretty terrible moral to be delivered in dream form. Or any form, really.
At lunchtime, I saw both the best thing ever and the worst thing ever in rapid succession. The best thing was a woman on a bright red scooter. She was wearing a white helmet, a white leather jacket with a wide red horizontal stripe, a white dress, and red-and-white striped socks. She looked like she was an angel in a 1980s movie who had been sent down from heaven to help the hapless dork lose his virginity. I’m pretty sure she was even glowing. (This even happened in Evanston, Illinois, so there’s a good chance that she had been cast by John Hughes.)
The worst thing that happened was that I saw a foodie snapping a cell phone picture of her lunch. Which was a pack of fucking Lunchables.
There were some weird work things that happened, which I’m not going to detail here but which contributed to my sense of unease. And then, the fitness-related weirdness: I ran a 5K in 26:30. Which is way faster than I should be able to run a 5K. It’s only 6 seconds off my personal best, which was during a race with perfect conditions and a
My previous fastest this year was 27:25, and most of my runs have not been close. Which raises some possibilities:
- The tracking in my phone could be wrong. Which it was, slightly. I didn’t realize this when I posted about the update to Zombies, Run! yesterday, but the app now includes maps of your run. Which is nice, because I was able to check my route and see if anything was odd. There was a bit of shakiness at the very start of the course, indicating that the app measured a bit more distance than I actually ran, but it wasn’t much—maybe 10 or 20 seconds’ worth.
- It could be a weird outlier. I did run in the early evening, rather than the late morning when I usually run, so that may have affected my performance.
- I could be getting in better shape.
The thing is… I don’t feel like I’m in good shape, relative to what I’m capable of right now. I’m getting over being sick, and I don’t feel like I’ve really trained enough—I feel like I’m a solid three weeks of training and clean eating from being in my prime. (And really “my prime” should be in quotation marks.) My normal workouts haven’t felt real good, and while I’ve dropped a little bit of weight this year, I don’t feel like it’s enough to make that much difference.
But on the other hand, the workouts maybe haven’t felt good because I’m pushing myself harder, so it’s actually a good sign.
Good signs frighten me; they’re usually an indicator that something terrible is going to happen.
It’s kind of aggravating. As I’ve noted, I’m extremely numbers-focused, so I don’t really trust anything just because I feel it. But there’s really no single fitness number, so I’m just going to have to muddle through.
* Not because I’m opposed to people with disabilities doing OCR. It’s weird because I rarely will talk to strangers without some reason, and it’s completely unheard of for me to commit to spending several hours with someone I don’t know. I’m even pretty nervous about spending several hours with someone I know and love.