I was going to start this post with a scathing—scathing!—commentary about how much hostility I’ve seen related to OCR lately and how it’s better to be positive, but I started writing it up and it was stupid.* And since it was just a tortured framing device to get into the actual topic of today’s post, let’s just skip it and go straight to this collection of insults to use against the obstacle course racer in your life who annoys you. Some are image-based, but don’t just skip over the text-only ones at the end.
Enjoy the hostility!
The Great List of OCR Insults!
I like my medals more than I like you.
You’re worth less than the post-race beer.
You’re slimier than a 4pm heat after a rainstorm.
You’re less epic than my diarrhea after marching though a dodgy mud pit.
If I saw you skipping your burpees, I wouldn’t bother caring.
I’ve found bigger things than you on my Q-tip after a race.
I wouldn’t give you my used shower water.
You throw like a girl… is sitting on the rope that’s tied to the spear.
You are a waste of spandex.
You’re the only person I know who looks more civilized after a race.
*In fact, online complaints are a bugaboo of mine—not that I’m opposed to criticizing things that are wrong, but so much of what people do is so anti-constructive. So in the real world, you know, try not to suck.