The Missing Badass Dash Obstacle

The Badass Dash has released its obstacle list for its Chicagoland race on Saturday, which I just happen to be running. Being someone who works with the English language—you could arguably even call me a professional grammarian—something jumped out at me right away.

Badass Dash Chicago obstacle list

Badass Dash Chicago obstacle list

I mean, besides the typo. I noticed that too, but really, who the fuck cares? It’s worthwhile to try to spell words right, but if you use enough words, you will eventually spell some not right. Whinging about it is just boring. Plus, I’m drafting this post on my phone, so there’s at least a 99% chance I’ve got a typo or two. Like, the phone just tried to change “two” to “tow.” It may very well have tried to change “Badass Dash” to “Betty White” and I wouldn’t have noticed. (Or minded.) So let’s ski right past that.

More interesting is the propensity—let’s have some fun and call it a fetish, even—for starting both words in an obstacle’s name with the same letter. Some 25 out of the 33 obstacles follow this naming convention.

But I think they missed one. So, fur future consideration, let me propose:

14.5. The Alliterative Assault.

What would this be? Simple. Racers would simply hold a plank, while Parker Posey plunks them with Ping-Pong balls in their posterior.

Badass Dash, you’re welcome. Royalties will be graciously accepted.

(I’m pretty sure Parker Posey is still around somewhere. Right?)


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Filed under Badass Dash, Funny, Obstacle Course Racing

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