I’m up quite annoyingly early to make my way to Kentucky-I’m not sure precisely where-for the Bourbon Chase, a 200-mile running relay. Live blogging the climbing competition went well so I’ll try that again. Of course, this one will necessarily be more protracted, since we’re still a day out and the race itself will last a day and a half or so, but I’m comfortable with that.
Well, mostly I’m scared. In fact, here’s a list of what terrifies me, in approximate order:
Chafing. Despite the presence of BodyGlide, I think this is almost certain. My hope is that compression gear will prevent it on body parts of all level of private-ness.
Pooping myself. A constant fear when running, mitigated at home by the fact that Chicago’s public parks often have public potties. I don’t know anything about the toilet situation on-route, though.
Getting sick. That’s mostly a function of being up really early for my flight, and concern about how little I’ll be likely to sleep over the next few days.
Not sleeping. That probably should be up one, but I’m tired and my phone doesn’t make cut and paste easy. I slept terribly last night, and the actual event will also be bad for sleeping-on the floor at some school gym for a couple hours, I think, which is as hospitable as possible but not really comfortable.
Stinky Vans. I’m actually pretty sure this will happen, but I’m hoping its at a tolerable level rather than a let’s-cut-off-our-noses-and -live-as-feral-people one. I’m bringing bags for run-in clothes, after all. And Wet Ones!
Moist Towelette Burn. What if I got the pack of Wet Ones that was accidentally soaked in concentrated sulfuric acid, rather than normal Wet One juice? I once worked a summer in a factory where this type of thing was packaged (it was Tuck’s medicated pads rather than Wet Ones, but a similar concept) and with all of those random liquids lying around being scooped by hand by hardworking, underpaid laborers, accidents could happen.*
Bears, Angry Hillbillies, or Angry Hillbilly Bears. All possible, in equal measure. I don’t want to be an upcoming storyline in Gasoline Alley!
Pain. I’m actually pretty sure this will happen too, but I’m hoping it will be manageable. I’ve been running, though I do feel underprepared. The good thing is, my hardest leg is right out of the gate when it’s easiest; my other two are a lot shorter. Unless…
Having to run an extra leg. My team has 11 runners, instead of the customary 12, so three of us have to run extra legs. I don’t think I’m one of them, but if I am ill approach it with my customary grace and aplomb. And then start crying about twelve seconds in.
Letting down my team. This is actually pretty likely, but, whatevs.
Not liking bourbon. I’ve only had bourbon once, and I didn’t like it, but it was before I really drank at all so that’s not a good judgement. As I understand it, we are disqualified if our on-course BAC falls under .12**,and bourbon is the only form of alcohol available. Of course,I’ve worked hard to become a lush, so I’m sure I’ll be able to suck it down.
*not actually how things get made.
**really not actually how it works. The bourbon is only for after the race. Enjoy responsibly. Don’t poop where you eat. Buy one get none free.