I reserve the right to lie. It won’t be all the time, and I doubt the lies will be made up out of whole cloth, but it will happen. I’m not unusual in that (everyone lies, and I’ve even heard the theory that society is built on the ability to lie appropriately) but I think it’s worthwhile to be upfront. The truth is often uninteresting, which is bad for a blog or any other publication.
I’ll at least try to be responsible in my lying. I’ll try to avoid the “Side-A-said-this-Side-B-said-this-and-they’re-both-equally-valid-so-you-decide” misinformation that passes for reporting.* Frankly, I’m unlikely to do reporting of that type of thing anyhow—I hate writing stories about kerfuffles. But more importantly, my lies won’t be malicious. My lies will probably be about myself to make a story more entertaining (i.e. make myself look dumber) or by introducing absurdity that should be obviously so. If I run in the Nuclear Undie Color 5K Hop and Bacon Fry, and I say that I was waiting in line to check my gear for an hour, it’s because I was waiting in line to check my gear for an hour. On the other hand, I could conceive of myself saying that the organizer of the the Nuclear Undie Color 5K Hop and Bacon Fry is a 1,200 pound green-skinned pleasure beast from the planet Nungiarnan, and she took the first, second, and fourth-place winners back to her home to discover true ecstasy. That’s not true, but I think it’s unlikely enough that you’d believe it that I don’t feel too bad about it.
What else? I’m staying semi-anonymous, although you could probably figure it out if you cared. I don’t mind if you do, as long as it doesn’t get me fired.
I might swear or post random photos of breasts for shock value. Like this:
I won’t stand like this. Seriously, Mike Brady. Get it together.
I’m not a fan of nastiness for nastiness’s sake, having spent a long time working at an association where members complained constantly and loudly in extraordinarily destructive ways. Any criticism I make is intended constructively.
When I make fun of stuff—which will happen a lot—it’s because humor is how I cope with life, and because so much of the obstacle course racing world is completely absurd. “Absurd” isn’t “wrong”—if you think about it, most of the things we as humans do are completely absurd if we look at them directly without the symbolic meaning we ascribe to them. (Like basketball. If it’s so important for the ball to be in the bucket, then why does the bucket have a hole in it?) Finding absurdity in OCR heightens the joy that I find in OCR.
Also, someday I might turn this into a book.
I may not live up to these rules, and I’m okay with that. When I’m here, I’m a God (hopefully benevolent), and there’s no place else I can say that.
*That’s accurate but overly harsh. The reason he-said-she-said reporting thrives is a mix of factors. Allowing all sides in a dispute the opportunity to speak is a valid aspect of reporting, and it should be checked by reporters questioning lies. But there’s a lack of time, due both to deadlines and the fact that journalism overall is decimating its staffing levels, and market forces also strongly discourage that (nobody wants to read or hear someone debunking a lie they passionately believe in). While the result is terrible, nobody’s terribly interested in fixing the components that cause it.